What exactly is it that I want?

I've found my new family and am on the search for a new home with them. Have a job I hate that pays well while I look for a job that I like that will hopefully pay well.... and I'm starting to think about what exactly it is that I want from myself in this next year, that is approaching pretty darn quickly.
I know that I want to attend both Shambhala and Burning Man next year, but what about afterwards? I know I want to see my Momo, but when? I know I don't want to spend another winter in Vancouver, but then where? So here we go, I'm going to set some serious deadlines for myself here...

This winter is for getting my ass into some serious pavement burning gears. By January I want at least one job I absolutely adore.
Spring 2010; Visit momo on the east coast, have my shambhala & burning man tickets paid for and ready to go, have my driver's license by june
Summer 2010; have a minimum of $3000 banked for my summer and a plane ticket to somewhere not in north America for after the Burn.

that's all I have as of yet...but there are many thoughts of attending school bouncing around in my head for shortly after that. But for right now I think that's more than enought to think about.

Last night I hung out with Stephan and some of the Selkirk crew as everyone said their goodbyes and headed out for San fran and Treasure Island. Want to send out much love to Jenn, Sonya, Tom, Noel, and Stephan. Safe driving and many blissed filled moments on the road!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE. Also I wnated to share some of these amaizng ridiculously off the hook youtube videos we wasted hours luaghing and being amazed at!!!

Craziest flips ever (seriously!)


2008 drummers; Opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics


And the SHIVA Dance!!! Also Beijing Opening Ceremonies



Many blessings and blissede filled moments out there to everyone who wants them!!

Love Love love love love

your yoshi

BE/EXPRESS/LOVE

Found a job that I'm not super stoked on but will do while I find the perfect one. The world is turning and so is my life... Found the house mates!!!! And am so ecstatic to be moving in with a family that reflects the beauty, joy and love I reflect into the universe. So many family projects!!!
Just wanna say Thank YOU to Jenn, Russ, Conrad, and Steff for being so AMAZING! And full of love and creativity, I am so incredibly excited to begin our family together.

applied with Lululemon today, hope they like me!!! Such a dream job!!!!

Sending out some special extra love vibes to my MOMO, BOUBOU (I MISS YOU BOUBOU!!!), my new family, my always family, Matt, and my Dad!! I miss you guys fromt he bottom of my heart and need to send some extra love your way. SO FEEL IT!
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

Here's some pics from my trip to the Island in September....a little late I know...sorry :P

I'll never say good bye Fish

Having missed the first memorial, as I was engulfed by the energy and magic that is Shambhala. I was obligated to make my Aunt Angela's second memorial right here in Vancouver.

Angela was, and always will be, the big sister I never had. Closer in age to myself than my mother she related to what was going on in my life. Early on in high school, when I was around the age of 14 years old I acquired some rather nasty drug habits. Having just mutually agreeing that I shouldn't live at my mother's house with her, I was now homeless. Mom moved to California that year, and I stayed in Richmond ready to deal the cards I'd been dealt.
Angela took me in without questions, had she asked and had the answers, perhaps she wouldn't have taken me in with the knowledge of how dangerous a user can possible be.
Angela has accomplished so much in her life, being given the gift of a little daughter; Heather at such a tender age has made her strive so hard for success.
Angela was so breathtakingly beautiful when I saw her last. Around Heather's graduation we took pictures outside and the woman just sparkled and glowed.
She showed me that Sunday mass isn't just a place of worship, but a place you can start to be honest with yourself and the only person watching. That there were people in the world I've yet to meet who care so deeply. And that love really is everywhere.

On July 19, 2009 in William's Lake BC, Angela was killed on impact in a head on collision. But of course she went out still enjoying life with her feet up on the dash and hand probably out the window, sialing in the wind.

I was in Yellowknife and nearly 3000 km away. She left behind a 13 year old daughter, who I will forever and always treasure as my own little sister no matter what happens. And I hope she knows that she come to me anytime, or let me know and i will go to her. I will never judge her or expect anything of her, just love her and expect that she loves herself and try her hardest.

I was overwhelmed by guilt for not being at that first memorial in William's Lake. But I had peace with Angela, not even a few weeks before had I decided one morning to call everyone in my phone book and thank them for their presence in my life. I let everyone know how much I loved and appreciated them. When Angela picked up the phone, despite being in the middle of something, we ended up talking away for a near hour. I had thanked her deeply for every moment and every second she had been in my life. I was so greatful for all the times and kind words she had shared with me.

I will never say good bye Fish.

.

Back on track, now lets make it a trail.

After a relaxed couple of days and some wonderful downtime I'm feeling rather on top of things. The long list of loose ends that need tying is getting shorter and fall is not looking as ominous as previously thought. Plans at the moment are still up in the air as far as traveling goes. I find myself at the most wondrous crossroad, with so many enchanting options and no money to pursue them.
You have to love the money woes when traveling. You never have any :P
So I'm off to get some work done in Vancouver for a bit, nothing to exciting. Just for a paycheck or two. Then next weekend I'll be camping on the island with Sylvia!! I've also found great interest in wwoofing, which I am most definitely going to look into. Finally having a working laptop is fantastic!! HURRAH. So expect some pictures next post and maybe some more news on where I'm off to for Decemeber!! :) We'll see how the next couple of weeks go but the two places I'm most keen to go are rather exciting. Namaste.

Found some pictures of my journeys along the way. Goddesses of the Arctic Circle at Shambs,

On the road to Shambs with our final ride!! Joy Button myself and Lightbear

On the road to Shambs waiting for the ferry

The floral arrangement I made my head into on David's birthday

And being silly at Wreck with Tom's amazing froggy hat

Lost in a haze.

So the past few weeks living at the larch house have been phenomenal. Absolute bliss to be exact. And now all of a sudden I can see the end of summer in sight and am wondering why I'm still here. Between watching my new found family part ways across the continent and packing up the beauty of 2030 Larch has been quite overwhelming today and I've felt a little lost through out it all. But, "A quick chill out at 2020 has left me seeing things a fair bit clearer" as Paolo said it would :) With so many options on where to go I think I may stay in Vancouver a while longer and recharge my batteries. So I won't be making it to the Playa this year, but I will most definitely be fire-spinning in the desert next fall.

In this immediate moment I am feeling so overwhelmed by love for all the beautiful souls I have met this summer. There have been endless moments of perfection and bliss. All of which I owe to the people around me. David, Jocelyn, Isaac, Fran, JD, Brian, Wil Call, Siobhan, Shauna, Shawn, Pami, Paolo, Abby, and every single beautiful body, mind and soul that is, was or ever will be Larch THANK YOU. Thank you for your presence, your love, your voice, your creativity and just being yourselves. Namaste. I hope that I can bring your beauty and love with me all the days of my life.

California is still an option but I am really missing my Momo and thinking of perhaps heading East. But lets work on a means of getting there and maybe some cash to eat along the way.

Wreckbliss in Van

Post SHambhala bliss has been hitting me pretty hard. It has been so refreshing to be back in Vancouver, especially with so much of my family here. Since my aunt Angela's passing I have only felt my love and kinship with my whole family grow steadily stronger.

Every sunset has been mind blasting, and so unfathomably beautiful it would happily be my last. I feel now as though I am truly living up to those words inked into my skin. I am for the joy and beauty of this world, everyday living to tears.
With that in mind, I take note the ever shortening days. Summer is fleeting here. And if its sunsets and summer that fulfill me right now, then sunsets and summer I shall follow. :P

I made the decision last night; I'm headed south to Nevada. Flow works very well but you need to also make conscious decisions of where you would like to flow to. Balance right, you simply can't have flow without force elsewhere and vice versa.

So I'm off to the playa. see you black rock city!

On the road with my Momo

my fuzzy peach and I drove from Vancity to Yellowknife in two and a half days... here are some pictures we took along the way..

ketchup time. The story thus far.....

So up to date I have driven to Yellowknife, NWT with my best friend Monique to kidnap another friend (Lightbear) and make the pilgrimage to Shambhala. Woke up one morning to find her missing and myself stranded in the land of the Midnight Sun, though I love her much more for it and have learned now that it was only another blessing.
My near three weeks in the North was a little surreal. It definately took a while to get used to the sun never going down, and I made more friends and family than I could have ever imagined. I volunteered at Folk on the Rocks and saw the best YK has to offer. First festival of the year and it felt like I had brought summer to the North.
My last night in Yelloknife was phenomenal, the best damned game of hide and seek I have ever had in my life and that night it finally got dark. Stars actually glittered in the abyss above us, and even a quick glimpse of the northern lights. How blessed I am. Love to everyone I met up there, Nathan and Nina thank you for taking me in with such open hearts and housing me while I was there, LB and Felix for making it all happen, Kyla, Sari, Jaimee, Erich, Daysha, SEB for opening my eyes in so many ways, you have no idea! So many good times and memories I will never forget. All those I haven't quite remembered this moment; I blame the wake n bake. Thank you for sharing so many of the moments of my life at Shambs too!!
Lightbear and I walked out of Yellowknife on Friday August 31st, about a half hour before Nathan, Sari, and Kyla left in a car. We beat them to Fort Provedence, Enterprise, and then to Edmonton. We would have pit stop sessions on the side of the road every time they caught up to us. It was hysterical. And so Lightbear and I walked the most desolate highway (I have ever seen), the Mackenzie down into Alberta and on towards BC.
In total it took us a whopping NINE rides and three days to get to Shambhala. Over 2400 kms. It was a journey I will remember all the days of my life.
Our last and final ride was with three divine goddesses, Stefania, Mama Tenielle, and Joy Button (who is most literally all the world's joy stuffed into one button). They apologized for for being late, stating that they were hungry and had stopped for breakfast. We told them it was ok and we hadn't been waiting long. They brought us home.
I made it home,
A home I was never aware I had,
With a family I never knew existed.
I found all the love the universe has to offer,
in Mother Earth, Father Sky,
And the many brothers, sisters, mother and fathers I have made along the way.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I would not be who I am today without all of you, everyone I have met along the way.
May the universe bless every moment of your life as it has blessed mine.

Shambhala was a life changing experience, as it is for everyone. And though I would love to tell everyone on blog I feel it much more powerful if I told you directly. So come ask me about my first Shambs if you wish.

Namaste